how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
