dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i think i have herpe
just one?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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