uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
