You really coming over, don't trick.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
