yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
my shit smells like andre
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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