im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
