The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
