I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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