would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We have started to decorate penises.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
