i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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