it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
