nut hugger
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
