Sponge bath it is.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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