How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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