I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
