I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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