She said her name was "party"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
