Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
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