Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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