do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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