I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
