His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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