We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
