i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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