Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
