dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
