Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
