It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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