So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
