I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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