hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
