Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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