handjob tips. give me some.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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