No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
