We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
