some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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