Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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