is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
