you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
