Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
