I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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