I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
