Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
