She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
zippers are such a cool invention
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
