I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My liver just had a heart attack.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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