Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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