So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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