HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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