Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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