Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
