i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
